There is something quietly sad about a box that is being moved. You know how tired you feel when you’re somewhere between wrapping the dishes and labeling the last stack of books if you’ve ever packed up your life, even if you did it willingly. Melissa Gilbert took a picture of it all on Instagram at the end of last month. She was lying on the floor of her Upper West Side apartment, surrounded by carefully labeled boxes, and staring up at the ceiling of the place she had lived for eight years. The picture said what her caption didn’t, whether she meant to or not.
On Instagram, Gilbert, who many Americans know as Laura Ingalls from “Little House on the Prairie,” said that she and her husband Timothy Busfield were leaving their New York City apartment for good, or at least for now. She talked about the subway, the neighborhood bodega, the newsstand, and the late dinners with friends in a very warm way. “So long perfect little one bedroom apartment on the Upper West Side,” she wrote. She said it had been eight years of theaters and soundstages. For eight years, she did what she called “amazing work.” The last line said, “I promise we’ll be back. It’s just that right now…well, you know.”
Busfield, who is 69 years old, was charged with four counts of sex crimes with children younger than 13 in February. The charges come from New Mexico, where he is getting ready to fight his charges and go to trial. During the whole thing, he has said he is innocent, and Gilbert, 62, has continued to publicly support him. But it looks like staying in New York City during a tabloid storm is not the same thing as being by someone’s side.
The move might have been planned ahead of time. Gilbert and Busfield have owned a small piece of land in the Catskills for many years. She calls it “The Cabbage,” which is a play on the words “cabin” and “cottage.” This name tells you something about her. It was never a backup plan or a place to hide. From what she said, it was always a loved retreat. Now, it’s different because it’s a full-time address.
When you read between the lines of her post, it’s hard not to get the feeling that New York became too open. In the city that Gilbert wrote about with such affection, even strangers on the subway know each other’s faces, rumors spread faster than the Uptown Express, and a name from a news story follows you into the corner coffee shop. Nobody goes away quietly on the Upper West Side. It’s a place where many things happen.
Gilbert didn’t say who her husband was in the post. The word “we” was used once, almost by accident. This is the careful language people use when they want to say something but aren’t sure how to say it. It’s hard to tell if her caution is meant to protect him, herself, or just what’s left of their private life.
It’s clear that she’s moving forward, at least in terms of where she lives. The Upper West Side is not the same as the Catskills. Less seen, slower, and quieter. That kind of distance from the noise probably matters more than it used to for someone who has to deal with her husband’s criminal case and her own public image at the same time.
She said New York was “our favorite city in the world” and said she’d come back when things got back to normal. They might do it. The apartment is empty for now, the boxes are labeled, and Melissa Gilbert is living in a cabin upstate while she waits for what will happen next.
